Opinion : Things you don't expect with this job

If I had to pick the best part of this job, it would be the stories that cross my desk that I know will make people smile. Then there are the weekly antics at the government level that always make me say, "You just can't make this stuff up!"

But then there are days like yesterday. The loss of a young woman who should still be here. That one still sits with me today. So do the details from another bizarre murder trial a few weeks ago. And a trial concerning children before that.

Before doing the nuts and bolts reporting in this job, I had the easy part of answering all the email, chatting with the readers, creating ads, selling ads, running the books, popping the easy stories on, sending out the bills, and all of the odds and ends in this business. The one thing I didn't do was the hard-hitting stories like these.

I find that it's a juggling act. You have to be able to write these stories and somehow not get bogged down in the emotion of the stories. But I haven't figured out how to do that.

Sometimes it's someone screaming at a board meeting, or flipping off the City council, or seeing photo displays in a court case, or sharing the news that, "Crazy people live among us, be careful out there!" Even the "good" stories memorializing someone who passed away some 80 years ago in the D-Day invasion time, all seem to hit me in the heart.

Some stories don't hurt as bad. The soldier's story was tragic yes. But the overall motive of the story was to share his desire to serve our country and to realize that we have a LOT of men and women that we owe our freedoms, and we should be more grateful to them.

Other stories that involve the courtroom, are harder for me. While I'm watching, you can bet all my judgy feelings are out. So far, I've agreed with the juries. But behind the story, I still worry about the many victims of these crimes. At night I still pray for them. And in each case, there's still the weight of these cases that I can feel in my heart.

I had some great advice given to me concerning this job. "Observe, don't absorb." Great advice. I'm just not sure how to do that. If you have a heart, you absorb the pain around you, not to the depth of those closest to the story for sure, but it still goes with you.

I have to admit, it's a relief to just expect some distraction with antics played out in boardrooms. While I can honestly sit in shock at what I see, at least everyone is still in one piece, and the only crazy you see are high school antics. We've all lived through high school bullies, so I know this too shall pass. But it is kind of fun to watch grown adults be childish. At times, I chuckle expecting one of them to hit the floor in a full-blown two-year-old temper tantrum as they toss away their pacifier and lay on the floor kicking and screaming and demanding their own way. Maybe that's what I am really waiting for. I need some distractions from the heavy stuff.

On the scale of what's important, those meetings just don't really register. Not really. Yes, we need to do better, much better. That's why I continue to shed a little light on these antics. But on the scale of life, they don't even hit a 2.

The stuff that matters I carry around with me. The pictures from a murder scene. The description of adults harming children. Those have landed somewhere in a corner of my being, and they don't seem to leave. Then I realize our dear officers who have to investigate all the things summarized in a courtroom, our first responders who are on scene when these things happen, they too carry a bit of each incident with them.The dispatchers relaying info, so many people. And that's got to be a much heavier burden to carry.

What gives me hope? This community and the hearts of those who live here. We truly do put up with all the nonsense, and fight like brothers and sisters. But when the chips are down, we're also there. And that can't be found just anywhere. There's a gofundme page that I shared with all of you yesterday via Facebook to help cover the cost of a funeral, and today I see the love pouring in for one of our own. That is the stuff that really does bring tears to my eyes.

This is the stuff that matters.

So to everyone who has to deal with the nastiness that is brought into this world by others, give yourself a bit of grace. If you live with someone in these fields of work, lawyers, police, EMTs give them all a bit of grace as they wade through the things you don't see and may only hear tiny pieces of. But also, be generous with your appreciation for those in these lines of work. These are the people that are faced with pure evil and tragedy every day and still show up for work the next day.

When you see stories like the ones I have to share, take a moment to whisper a prayer for these families, in every bad story. Pray for the screamers and bird flipper off-ers. When you see an ambulance head out or police cars headed out with their pedals to the metal and lights on, someone somewhere is having a bad day. Say a prayer for those responding and the people wherever they are headed.

Just a few weeks ago I was pulled over for speeding and I genuinely felt bad for bothering the officer with my lawbreaking on the heels of one of these cases. Be kind, even when you get pulled over. You can be a bright spot in what may have already been a bad day for an officer. And face it, you probably deserved to be pulled over, admit it. If you get a cranky officer, they may have just left a bad scene seeing things that will haunt them, and they have to still function and deal with idiots like us that forget to watch the speedometer. Give them an extra smile and kindness, don't be an idiot.

So anyway, I'm heading out with my camera to snap some pictures and to bring some fun news. At this point, I should bring the happy up a notch and not send you off on a down note. However, it's okay to appreciate topics like this.

Observe them, but do take a moment to try to absorb someone else's pain somewhere if you can. it really does give you a good heart for what really matters.