By “We” she means: Me.
And she’s right.
I am generally historically boring, but I took it to a whole new level again this week.
It was time for a new (which for us, means “quite used” because we are too fond of not having car payments so we look for things we can pay cash for after receiving our income tax refund) vehicle.
Why we received that refund in July is another story about technology, but that will wait for another day.
After looking at a variety of vehicles, including a Mustang (too small), and several stylish sedans, I approached Mrs. C. the other day with the dreadful news: I found a vehicle. A minivan.
Even with only one teenager in the house, we bought the same kind of vehicle we had chosen on multiple occasions when we needed all the seats.
And it gets worse.
We bought a Kia Sedona, made by the same fine Korean company that makes Hyundai.
Like every other person who ever bought a car with a strange name, I wondered: What is a Sedona?
Answer: Nobody knows, not even the people at Kia.
My minivan is named after a town in Arizona. Why the Korean executives in charge of American marketing chose that name, nobody has ever said.
Even the Kia salespeople don’t know
“This one’s a puzzler….we were unable to definitely find the exact inspiration for the name,” wrote the people at Friendlykia.com., where the staff of a Florida Kia dealership blogs about all things Kia.
Sedona, according to Arizona historians, got its name from the wife of the city’s first postmaster. She got her name from her mother, who, according to that Arizona history, made it up because she thought it was a pretty name.
So, now, my newest vehicle carries on that postmaster’s wife vague, historic name.
But it’s still boring. Folding seats. Sliding doors. Practical engine. Quiet muffler. Monochromatic color scheme. None of the cool features of those loud, fast, colorful hot rods we watched as kids in “Grease” or “American Graffiti.”
Now, a Sedona is not any more boring than any other minivan from any other country or manufacturer.
My boring vehicle history includes a variety of experiences with minivans, although my first three were American-made: Dodge Grand Caravan, Chevy Lumina and a Ford Aerostar.
The Dodge was very pretty purplish color but had nothing at all in common with any kind of caravan, grand or otherwise. The only time it turned heads was the day I bought two 14-foot 4 x 4s at McDowell’s and hauled them home in the minivan, with about 2 feet of lumber sticking out through the front seat passenger side window.
The only illumination our Chevy offered was why not to buy the 1991 version. That vehicle was known for wiper blades that suddenly shut off during torrential rain storms and windows that simply fell out while we drove down the road.
And the Ford had nothing at all to do with any kind of stars.
But on the bright side: The first car we considered was a ’99 Cadillac, which would have made us look boring and old, instead of simply boring.
And – much more importantly – although the Sedona looks historically boring, it does indeed have plenty of room for car seats, and granddaughters who come running out to go with Grandpa in his vehicle.
That is enough to make even the most boring of vehicles more fun than the fastest muscle car.