Dear Oprah,

I know there’s a chorus of people wanting you to run for office in 2020.

You probably will, because after all, the ego is a terrible thing to waste…ask President Trump.

I might as well tell you right now that if you do, I won’t be voting for you.

It’s only fair to tell you why.

It’s my ears.

One of the things that drives me nuts, are the speech patterns and voice inflections people use when speaking.

Most people are pretty good about speaking and don’t seem to have noticeable quirks.

Others make me want to plug my ears.

President Obama’s annoying habit was saying, “Uh” repeatedly. As hard as I tried I’d make it about ¾ of the way through a speech for saying, “Okay, that’s enough.”

With Hillary W.H. (What Happened?) Clinton she reminded me too much of a screaming aunt that is trying to make her point, and I don’t know about you, but I can stand that less.

With you dear Oprah, it’s the silly sing songy way in which you drag out your words.

While you’re a great speaker, you’re annoying that way.

Can you imagine the State of the Union address?

“Helllloooo my fellow Ammmmericannnnssss.

Welllllcome to the State of the YOU-niounnnnnnn addressss.”

(insert the sound of her voice going up or down where you see repeated letters.)

It’s annoying.

It’s not cute.

It doesn’t add emphasis.

And it sure doesn’t build the drama that I think you think it does.

For some reason it seems like you end sentences on a 7th, and as a musician, I find that so annoying.

I have to admit I can think of about 5 advantages you have over Hillary’s campaign.

You aren’t married to Bill, and Stedman is much more likable.

You don’t have the history that Hillary has.

Face it, you’re likable. Hey, I might even find you likable enough if we didn’t try to discuss theology or politics.

You don’t appear to think that you’re better than everyone else. (There was a bathroom incident when Hillary visited Vinton that makes me roar with laughter that I’ll share with you sometime if we ever chat.)

The fourth thing you have that Hillary doesn’t, ya got class girl.

When you walk into the room, you look good nice. Even when you were walking through mud in California this week, you looked better than Hillary most of the time!

I mean come on.

Whoever is designing clothes for Hillary has GOT to be a cousin of the guy that made the Emperor’s invisible clothes.

For some reason, Hillary’s habit (no pun intended) of wearing dress pants with all I can think to compare it to is a housecoat (for those younger than 30, a housecoat is something like a robe only it’s knee length and usually a thick material) needed to be nipped in the bud.

I don’t know,

Maybe Hillary’s thought process goes something like this.

“If I want to be taken as serious as a guy, I should wear a suit. But I don’t like suits, they just aren’t comfortable. How about a housecoat!”

The one on the right is be all time favorite, I think it’s a real coat, but none the less it’s from the housecoat line.

So being a dutiful whoever it was, they agreed with her assuring her that it was the best decision she had ever made.

So thus the housecoat line was launched.

She had them in a rainbow of colors and in gaudy patterns and in the gray Kim Jun Il design.

Now for giggles, I googled, “Hillary dressed up” and there she was at Chelsea’s wedding, looking all pretty and feminine and, well, approachable and likable.

In those pictures, she looks like someone you might want to visit with.

Not at all like the crazy yelling aunt in the housecoat that my ears refused to listen to.

(C’mon Hill, my “style” is none existent as is any kind of figure, but if I had your figure, I think I’d want to flaunt it once in a while!)

Now Oprah, when you walk into the room, you’re all class.

You knows how to do it right.

You’re friendly.

You’re kind.

You’re personable.

You’re generous and no one questions that.

You’re positive.

All of these things, that, well face it, even if you wore something from the house coat line, YOU’D be able to still rock the room.

There were a couple reasons that Trump won, and you might be able to plug into them.

While I find the over compensating for his lack of self confidence by stating things like “I’m smart/a genius” makes me laugh, I realize that he’s done pretty well and I think he feels like he has to convince everyone of that, because well face it the media won’t give him credit for brushing his teeth on his own. And yeah, sometimes I quit listening to him too, one can only listen to him advertise himself for so long.

However, he won because he made America feel like we could be better than we are, at the same time telling the rest of the world that we’re already the best.

Of course, personally, I think he just brought the feeling that he’s a “get in my way and I’ll kick your butt”kinda guy, something I’m not sure we’ve had for a long time, I mean face it, you don’t picture President Obama as a tough dude. For some reason the picture of him riding a bike in his mom pants sticks with me. I mean face it, he came across as someone that might be fun to take along to a party.

Come to think of it, when you run, Trump might have some competition.

You’re able to do both those things if you want. You do really well at the positive reaffirming talk, and if you can plug into that tough while feminine thing, I think you’ve got a fair shot at stealing Trumps base.

So when you run, I mean after all, the media gave us Trump, (and a year later in they’re asking, “What Happened???”) but no doubt they’ll throw everything they’ve got behind you.

You might have a chance, not with this gal of course, but with more gals that I’d like to think. Many will vote for you because you’ll play the card, the gender card.

I’d wish you “good luck’ but I can’t.

As long as I’m making political predictions, and I was wrong last time, but then hey, it was rigged on the other side of the aisle, I predict that you’ll do better than Hillary did.

If the next 3 years is anything like the last 11 months have been, I think you’ll have a fight on your hands.

But hey, give it a shot.

You meet all the requirement, and thanks to President Trump you won’t be hearing much about the TV thing.

This could be an interesting race.

I will tell you, I don’t think this will be one of those, “Aha” moments that end well, but go ahead.

Give it a shot. I don’t think the founding fathers pictured a “career politician” being a requirement.

A good head on your shoulders is all I think they thought was required.

You’ve got that going for you.

Apparently, the U.S. looks at the elections as a popularity contest instead of who is the best for the job.

So again, you’ve got the name recognition, that’s probably all you really need to give this a shot.

I’d tell you to OWN it, but I think you have that covered too, pun intended.


A gal that takes her elections seriously, and is amazed that we’ve come to this.