Entertainment : \'Gnomeo and Juliet\' brings rare G-rated originality to the silver screen

Here's a challenge for any writer:

Begin with a play that ends with two teenagers committing suicide. Add a heavy metal musician, a retired wrestler and a female singer best known for her medically-enhanced bra size.

Using all of these ingredients, produce a G-rated movie.

It works. It actually works.

"Gnomeo and Juliet" was second on my informal list of Movies I Gotta See. The first, "Keepers of the Pinstripes," a baseball ghost story about the old and new Yankee Stadium, is still in production. "Cars 2," is also on my list, which now includes "Rango." My list, by the way does NOT include "The Bourne Redundancy" or "M-I really watching another lame Tom Cruise spy movie?"

The Story

If you haven't read "Romeo and Juliet" lately, brush up. The story starts there. "Gnomeo and Juliet" is a re-telling of William Shakespeare's classic play, with -- as the name implies -- garden gnomes.

Living separately in the back yards of neighbors named Montague and Capulet, the blue Gnomes (Gnomeo's clan) and red gnomes (Juliet's people) have long been enemies. Gnomeo goes on a secret mission to avenge an earlier attack on the blue gnomes' lawnmower (yes, really, this movie features chase scenes involving lawnmowers) while Juliet disguises herself and sneaks off to steal the beautiful Cupid's Orchid, a flower with a heart-shaped center, for the red garden.

They meet and fall in love before realizing, of course, that their beloved is: The Enemy.

For the rest of the movie, Gnomeo and Juliet try to find each other, while dealing with the increasing tension between the two sides. The play follows many elements Shakespear's plot (although Shakespeare did not ever once mention lawnmowers), and even includes a meeting between Gnomeo and a Shakespeare statue, who explains to him how his story has to end, and why.

The cast includes Dolly Pardon (as the girl who starts the lawnmower race), Ozzy Osbourne (as a fawn) and Hulk Hogan ( as a lawnmower tv commerical announcer). Voice guy Jim Cummings ("Lion King" and "Shrek" does a great job as the pink flamingo Featherstone.

Why you should go

"Gnomeo and Juliet" is what most movies these days are not: Funny. Original. Intelligent. You can watch it with your children without becoming embarrassed. And unlike most modern movies, it seeks to entertain without the use of crude bathroom humor or sexual references.

It's perfect for the whole family, and also (as I saw one ACT 1 couple do Friday night) perfect for a leaving-the-kids-at-home date night.

What you should know before you go:

"To be or not to be," the Shakespeare quote which was cleverly used as the addresses for the two neighbors' houses, actually comes from "Hamlet."

I did bite my thumb at the "Forrest Gump" quotes and the famous line from "Brokeback Mountain." The Shakespearean words were working; the writers should have stuck to the bard's lines for their inspiration.

The ending, too, was lacking just a tiny bit -- one or two more lines would have made it perfect.

But even with these minor imperfections, "Gnomeo and Juliet" is one of the best movies of the year -- and one of the very best for your kids to see.

The movie is 3-D but the effects are very mild.

The movie runs all week with 2 p.m. matinees Monday and Tuesday. If you can't make it at night, tell the boss you have a late lunch meeting one of those two days and see it. And if you need a written excuse, let me know.