Health and Fitness : Laugh With Kathy - The Paperwork

Sunday, October 21, 2012: Having surgery requires a lot of paperwork. What happened to electronic medical records? I keep answering the same questions over and over. Maybe it is a test to see if I get the answers right. To test this theory, I change my weight a few pounds every time someone asks me. Not enough to take me back to my twenties, but a pound here and there. So far, none of the doctors' scales match, so why should I stick to one number? I'm handed a preop folder as I leave the surgeon's office, which I'm told to read over, keep with me at all times, and be sure to bring with me to the hospital. I see that they are assigning some homework: fill out more forms (of course), have my primary care doctor fill out some forms, call the hospital to speak to a registrar who fills out forms, and notify my insurance. Paperwork"�no problem. I'm the queen of paperwork. I will match my paperwork skills with anyone! Speak to a registrar"�I think this translates to "Give the hospital your insurance information."� Also no problem. I have this in the bag. I call the very nice lady and respond to a few insurance questions. She asks me if I know where to go on the day of surgery. I tell her that I have no idea. She asks if I have my folder. Of course I do. I'm holding on to it just like I was told to. She instructs me to turn it over and look on the back. There is a giant map on the back with detailed instructions on where to park and where to go. I feel stupid. Who would have thought to look on the back? Then the nurse says, "It looks like I have everything except the type of procedure you will be having."� I swallow. I can say this. "A mastectomy,"� I reply. "Oh,"� she says and pauses. "I'm sorry."� This is a great reply. It really is. I mean, what else can a person say? She is very nice and wishes me a speedy recovery. I'm with you, sister! Notify your insurance"�this turns out to be interesting. Basically the same questions are asked, and I roll my eyes at my housekeeper as she passes by and laughs. Then we get to the question I know is coming, and I'm ready for it: "What type of procedure are you having?"� I respond, "A mastectomy."� It doesn't get easier, but at least I'm ready for it. But then I'm thrown a curveball when the lady asks, "And what is that for?"� Seriously? I repeat her question and pause. "Breast cancer?"� I reply. My housekeeper runs for my desk and grabs a note pad and writes, "Tell her you are having a sex-change operation!"� I'm laughing so hard at this point that I have to mute the phone. Where are these great lines when I need them? www.laughwithkathy.com *In recognition of October being Breast Cancer Awareness month, Dean and Val have asked me to share some stories from my book Laugh With Kathy, Finding humor in the journey through breast cancer. Each week day during October, I will post an excerpt from my book on Vinton Today. Our hope it that these articles will give you a glimpse into what it takes to beat breast cancer. Proceeds from books sold in October on Amazon and from my website will benefit the Survivors of Benton County. Please note that I was diagnosed with breast cancer four years ago, had two years of treatment and I am now living cancer free.