News : Latest weather update: \'Life-threatening\' blizzard

We at Vinton Today are all about helping you save time and keeping you safe.

So today, we have condensed all the weather news you need to know for the next two days. You don't need to wait for the next TV news update.

The National Weather Service called the blizzard conditions in Iowa "life-threatening," with 8-16 inches of blowing snow throughout most of Iowa and 16-20 or more in southeast Iowa. Wind chills and near-zero visibility will add to the dangers for those who try to travel. (The best official guess for Vinton after the storm was around 11 inches; it seemed a bit less where I live, seven miles north of Vinton.)

Here's All You Need To Know About The Weather:

1. It's snowing -- A LOT.

2. It's Windy -- VERY.

3. It's Cold -- WAY TOO COLD.

4. Roads are covered with snow and ice from Chicago to Oklahoma City. If you live anywhere between those two places, this means YOUR ROAD.

5. If you ain't there, you probably ain't gonna be there anytime soon.

6. If you ain't there, you probably don't need to be there.

7. If you ain't got it, you probably don't need it. Even chocolate.

8. If you try to get somewhere you ain't to get something you ain't got (including your grammar guide), and don't make it, you're gonna wish you stayed home.

9. So stay home. Next time, stock up on the chocolate. Before the blizzard comes.

THE END.