Opinion : The kids just want to fit in

Have you ever heard this jingle:

Laugh, laugh.  Thought I'd die. 

Die? That means funeral.

Funeral? That means flowers.

Flowers? That means money.

Money? That means work.

Work? ME WORK?

Laugh, laugh...

Raising kids has been one of those "experiments" that while we haven't always gotten it right, sometimes we just get it right and are amazed at how well the kids have turned out. Like we say, "The kids turned out, in spite of us."

A few months ago I remember watching my girls at an exercise night. We had gotten there late, so they joined in the walking exercise.

Now mind you, they walked the OPPOSITE direction as the rest of the group. When I pointed out that they were going the wrong direction, they assured me that walking is walking, it doesn't matter which way you go.

I watched as the other people there kept going one way, my kids giggling and going the other way.

As I watched I noticed something. 

First only one person followed them.

By they time they were done everyone had changed directions and followed my girls. 

I then realized that they had something their mom didn't.

A few weeks ago, our daughter said that she went into work. She did her usual checking in, and got to the floor when she was approached by one of the older workers.

"What is it with kids these days? They come in late to work, they leave early for lunch, then they come back LATE from lunch and want to leave early?"

My daughter said she glance at the clock and wasn't late, so she didn't know how to respond to that. 

The lady wasn't done.

"Then when they ARE at work, they don't do what they are supposed to do, they only do what they HAVE to do. They don't seem to care!" 

At this point my daughter is trying to figure out what she didn't do.  What did she forget? Did she forget to do something the day before?

"But" the lady continued, "You aren't like that! You're here early, you do all the jobs you are SUPPOSED to do, you do it well. You AREN'T like that!"

At this point my daughter began to breathe again.

She thought that SHE was the target of the frustration of one of her coworkers, and was very pleased to find out that she was doing a good job.

At another time, a coworker was amazed that she had bought her own car AND pays for her own gas.

I asked if she clarified for the coworker that this was actually her SECOND car?

She has not even reached her 18th birthday and is finding out that she is an odd duck.

We forgot to mention that "normal" kids don't do their jobs OR buy their own cars and buy their own gas.

She hasn't yet been told that if someone needs cookies baked for an event and you are asked to bake a batch  that you don't HAVE to make gluten free ones as well, so that EVERYONE can have a cookie.

She doesn't know that it's a big deal that she can go to the store, figure out the best deals, and make a menu for a meal...

She doesn't know that it's a big deal that her and her sister can put together a meal for 40 people when their mom had to be away at the doctors office all day.

The girls also don't know that if mom calls from the road and says, change of plans, again I'm not going to be home, can you put something together for about 20 people for a visitation, that the normal response isn't, "We can't do that!" It's, "Sure, what do we need to do."

Then a few days later we would have enough leftovers to feed another group of about 20 children...

She doesn't think  that she should be paid for babysitting her nieces, she said, "That's just wrong! They are family!"

The girls have taken the local MOPS group under their wings and babysit there every other week throughout the school year so that the moms can have a little bit of time to themselves.

They don't get paid.

They don't expect to get paid. 

Every time they return wiped out and ready to put their feet up, but in two weeks, they do it again. There's no whining, or sighs of "We HAVE to go help..." It's "Tonight is MOPS. We should be home at ..."

We have warped our kids so much that they think that helping out when someone needs help is just the normal way to do things.

For the most part, we forgot the lessons of being a spoiled teenager. 

Fortunately, for us, the kids remember the good lessons. 

The mom of a boy rioting in Baltimore, is making the rounds on Facebook. She's seen on camera chasing her son down and smacking him upside the head for being part of the riot. Some people have made comments on her "violence", trust me, this mom loves her son. She KNOWS how to be a parent.

If you notice that when you click on the link, the media wants you to think that this mom "beats" her son that she "suspected" was rioting. This mom saw him rioting and knows that her son, as tall as she is, is NOT behaving like she taught him to. 

While I doubt there will ever be riots in Vinton, I do know that if there is, my kids won't be there, at least not as a rioter. They might be there, like this boy, as a reporter, or as an officer, but they won't be the ones stealing from the stores.

No, we didn't do everything right as parents.

But we did do some things right.

Dad, mom, step up. Be a parent. We aren't here to be buddies, we are here to parent.

When the kids grow up and leave home, THEN you become the friend.

When they are adults, THEN you can sit back and relax, just a little bit. 

Parents, you are making my job hard. My kids just wants to blend in.

Like my daughter said, "I didn't do anything special, I just did my job."

Can you just get them to work on time, explain the rules of holding a job and please, please, make sure they know how to work while they are at their job?

If you'll do that, well, no one will notice when our kids go to work. All our kids want is to be part of the crowd, they want to fit in...(I won't tell them that I hope they are NEVER part of the crowd, and if they never fit in, that's fine with me!)