It was when I surrendered my life to Christ ¢â‚¬â€�about 45 years ago — that I first began to understand that I am complete in Jesus.

And I am. I do believe that.

But please allow me to put an asterisk somewhere in that sentence and guide you to the Bible ¢â‚¬â„¢s Book of Genesis. In the second chapter, verse 18, you read ¢â‚¬Å“ ¢â‚¬ ¦..It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him. ¢â‚¬ �

God then creates the animals, and then completes the creation with a woman from the man ¢â‚¬â„¢s rib. Reading from the New Living Translation, the man responds by saying, ¢â‚¬Å“At last! ¢â‚¬ �

I love that.

But does that mean that I am not complete without a woman? Mmmmm ¢â‚¬ ¦..

If you have been reading my blogs, you are aware that I was separated for three years and have now been divorced since mid-December. For the most part, emotionally I feel OK. Not great, just OK. The turmoil, the anger, the utter sadness is gone.

What I have been aware of, though, is a hole, an emptiness.  I do not feel complete. Something is missing.

I have also been aware that somewhere in the background of each day is a feeling of waiting. 

Shortly after the divorce was final, I signed up with eHarmony, an online dating website. I had a few dates that went nowhere. For the last couple of months, there have been very few "matches". I have canceled my subscription. It just felt too weird.

I do not intend to get all theological, but I must explain here. Since my divorce was final, I have had private discussions with God about my future. I have made it perfectly clear to God what my heart wants. I cannot imagine living the rest of my life as a single guy. But I always, I always complete that prayer with ¢â‚¬Å“but your will be done. ¢â‚¬ �

I absolutely believe that if God intends me to be single, He will make my heart and soul perfectly at peace with that.

I have not been at peace. I am lonely.

Over the last several weeks or months I have thought about all those years when I was single.  I did not marry until I was 30. I just shutter is disbelief. How in the world did I survive all those years as a single guy?

Maybe I did not know what I was missing.

Fortunately, I have a full-time job, a big house and an acre of land that keeps me busy now that it is spring. Almost every room in the house has been repainted. I have replaced all of the couches, and removed the carpeting in two rooms and replaced it with wood flooring. One of the bedrooms is now an attractive guest room, and I am about to start work in another bedroom.

And, of course, I hike as much as I can.

Way beyond words I am thankful for the people who have joined me in my journey of healing. They allow me into their busy lives. We hike, we talk, we just do things together. I am welcomed into their homes. This is important to me. It helps me keep my sanity.

This Has Been No Accident

I am also feeling very led by God to do something more with ¢â‚¬Å“my story ¢â‚¬ �. These blogs are no accident. Writing these thoughts on my laptop is totally a God-thing. I do not type one word without being led by Him to do so. These words, these thoughts are put down by me but are inspired by Christ. I have been feeling like I want to do more with this----more than a blog.

This became very apparent to me last Tuesday evening. I am a member of a hiking Facebook group and I had read a post a few days prior when one of the members asked what others thought about backpacking alone. I read the answers and then went on with my day, or two or three. I do not recall.

On Tuesday evening I thought I would write my own post on that Facebook site in response and explain why I hiked alone. I wrote it in maybe 15 minutes.  I did not think it was any big deal. This is what I wrote:

I recently read a post and many of its responses asking how others felt about backpacking alone in the mountains. I read it with much interest because over the last three-plus years I have done a lot of hiking alone. I fully recognize that hiking is not the same as backpacking, but several of my friends thought I was nuts (what if you run into a bear?) I did the solo hiking because I needed to be alone and to soak in the healing power of being in the mountains. My wife had left me and I was in shambles. I have adored the mountains since I was a teenager in Boy Scouts. As I walked solo, I would talk to God and allow His grace to flow through me. I would sometimes stop, view a mountain or just take in a gorgeous river, and breath in the healing power of mountain air. I would sometimes sit on a log, close my eyes, and just be. Every cell would relax. There was no other place I wanted to be......there was no other place that I should have been.

Literally within 30 seconds — probably sooner — readers started responding. The likes/loves started pouring in one right after another. It did not stop for hours. Lots and lots and lots of comments were made --- all favorable. As I write this the post has received over 1,800 likes/loves and almost 200 comments. It has been shared 22 times and I have gained four Facebook friends from it.

It was stunning.

One lady wrote, ¢â‚¬Å“This is the best post. I needed this tonight. Tomorrow is the anniversary of my mom's suicide and I go out in nature to clear my head. It's the only thing that keeps me sane. Thank you. ¢â‚¬ �

Another woman responded, writing, ¢â‚¬Å“My favorite part of your story is ¢â‚¬ËœAbout those bears. I celebrated when I saw one! ¢â‚¬â„¢ That says it all, reading your post was a beautiful poem, a prayer, and a smile. Thank you. ¢â‚¬ �

There were many just like these two. 

As I stated in my previous blogs, God inspired every word in those articles. I clearly heard him guiding me. The response to this Facebook post was a clear blessing from God, encouraging me to be open to this new path. He was blessing this journey.

I do not know how it is going to look, but the Lord wants me to continue to tell my story. I am quite excited about this possibility. 

The Old Testament book of Jeremiah contains a promise from God that is well known and often quoted.  It is, however, very appropriate to quote here. I have had it posted in my home office for a few years.

¢â‚¬Å“I know what I am doing. I have it all planned out, plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. ¢â‚¬ � Jeremiah 29:11.

Trust me ¢â‚¬â€�- I have held that promise close to my heart since November 2014, when this journey into hell and back again began.