Opinion : Reading my mind: Gravida

If I died tonight, I would die one proud mama. For years I've known that my kids were stubborn. They will dig their heels in when they believe that they are right and will not back down. I saw that when the oldest went to college. I saw it other times in almost all of my kids. 

I got to see that this week on Capitol Hill and on Iowa Public Radio. Now I suppose some of you have had a chance to see your kids excel and you were proud. Maybe in sports, like I did with my boys in baseball. Another of my kids is a survivor and she makes me proud every day, I look up to her. 

And yep, once in a while, I will take this platform to brag on my kids and today I'm doing that. This needs a special mom moment. 

I had the opportunity to watch as my oldest daughter went to the Capitol, in Des Moines, as part of a group of midwives fighting for the right to be licensed in the state of Iowa. Now, all of the states around Iowa have licensed midwives. Iowa is in the dark ages when it comes to recognizing the care of midwives. 

The bill has passed out of the House with flying colors and has now gone to the Senate subcommittee to be batted around. As part of that process, there is a time when arguments are presented to the committee on the pros and cons of the bill. Not a peep was heard on the side of the opposition when it came in front of the House. But when it got serious, I don't think the usual opposition expected that.

All the men put on their suits and ties and came out of the woodwork to chime in on labor and delivery. Yes, I noted that the opposition included men who thought that they knew best. They were telling women where, where and how they shall give birth. I've gone through 8 pregnancies, and suffered at the hands of the medical "experts,' made up of 7 men and had only one birth with a woman, a midwife. I have quite a disdain for anyone, especially a man who tells me anything concerning birth. 

My experience started with a doctor that hadn't delivered a baby in I don't know how many decades. When I went to him to be my doctor, he didn't bother to tell me this, he was just my doctor. I get to the labor room and he asks the nurse how much Pitocin he should give to me. I seriously should have run out of the room but I didn't know better. I was raised to be obedient and to trust...I was going to say, "the science" out of habit...the doctors and nurses. Needless to say, when I say that was the worst labor experience ever, I'm not kidding. It was literal torture at the hands of a guy who should have retired and his nurse, Nurse Ratchett. When I say these two were the worst doctor and nurse pair I've ever seen, I'm not kidding. I had Pitocin several times after that, and trust me, I think I was lucky to have had a live baby from that delivery. 

Then there was the doctor that decided for I don't know what reason that I needed a c-section, I'm still not sure why, I should have run out of there, but again I was taught to obey and trust...the doctor who had all kinds of science in his background. Looking back, there really was no reason for a c-section. He actually joked that he should have scheduled me to be delivered on January 1st so that he would have delivered the first baby of the year, a REAL emergency c-section that was...not.

On baby #3, I went into labor and the doctor who had been insistent that I have yet another c-section was on call. I FINALLY found my backbone and changed doctors while I was in labor. Ah, THAT'S what a normal birth was like. I fought nurses all the way through that delivery, but I did it!

Baby #4 was with a pro VBAC doctor. This guy was later arrested on a drug charge. Fortunately, that was after I delivered. But again, he was a doctor, he had all the right letters after his name saying he was a good doctor, so women trusted him.

Baby #5 I miscarried, that was a blur. I do remember the doctor acting like it was no big deal, "Next!" 

Baby #6 I found a midwife. She was perfect. The gal I'd dreamed of my whole childbirth career. It was THE BEST delivery a gal could ever ask for. There was no stress, there was no fighting with nurses, it was calm and peaceful, it was heaven. A midwife! SHE was the person that I had wanted from the beginning. But it took almost a decade of pregnancies before I found her.

Then because of the treatment following my miscarriage, a D&C, the placenta attached to the incision from my previous c-section, and needless to say, it was back to the operating room with a virtual c-section.

Baby #7 I also miscarried, same procedure as #5 This time the doctor said it happens all the time and I should expect that with as many pregnancies that I had had. You know, science. He was all heart.

Baby #8 was a rupture that required an ambulance and helicopter ride, followed by a true emergency c-section. I would note in hindsight this was the ONLY true emergency c-section that was needed, and that was because of all the other trauma my body had been through.

The next day, when they did the whole pushing on your stomach thing as part of the aftercare, I felt the incisions inside give way. Sure enough, it was back to the operating room for another c-section surgery minus another baby and other parts.

The doctor returned to my room following that second surgery, and bragged that "the nurses were surprised that I didn't lose my cool." Had I not gone through two surgeries in two days, and if I could move on my own, I would have been out of there. But I didn't want to anger the guy and have him "lose his cool." So it was, "Yes sir," and "no sir" until I got out of there. So again, a guy that should not have been in the baby delivery business.

My daughter saw all of the things I went through, well, she WAS there for all of them in one form or another. She remembers me being rushed out of the house and carried away in an ambulance. And it all started with a doctor that had no business delivering babies...and more doctors, all men, that should not have been delivering babies or in prenatal care at all.

But I was like most other women giving birth. I was young, naive and vulnerable. I trusted all the guys with the science background and yet not one of them had an idea what I was going through and it was obvious. I trusted them because everyone said I should. From the very first birth, I wanted a midwife, but I was bullied into going to a "real doctor." Back then, the only people using midwives that I knew about were the Amish.

My daughter has heard other stories of women being ignored in the hospital when they needed care. She's heard from their husbands who had to go for help and even they were ignored. She's heard other war stories from labor and delivery rooms. These are just my experiences. I've often said that a woman will go through hell for her kids, and I did just to get them here...and I'd do it again but now I understand that I shouldn't have had to.

My daughter found a much better way for babies to be delivered. She completed all of the training needed to be a midwife. Now she is going to Des Moines to fight for all the moms so that they can have their babies in Iowa with a midwife who is recognized by the state. She's fighting for midwives to be able to provide additional care that might be needed. She's fighting for the state to join some 37 other states and D.C for the right to have your baby with a licensed midwife.

Now let me reiterate. The midwives approaching the state for licensure have gone through extensive training that is recognized all over the world, and in the majority of states, except in Iowa.

Now, will the lawmakers listen to the midwives and women who trust them or listen to men who are paid lobbyists and think they can give advice on childbirth? We'll see. 

I for one am thankful for the mountain of facts that were laid out for the lawmakers to hear and hopefully heed.  No woman should run into doctors like mine. But EVERY healthy woman should have the opportunity to deliver with another woman at their side who is a midwife.

And now, I will get off of my soapbox, but know this. I am very proud of this daughter of mine who is fighting tirelessly...for all of your daughters in an arena not seen by many in the public. She's been hounding Des Moines lawmakers for EIGHT year to do this. Know that she and the other midwives have fought hard for all the women. She took on the men in charge of these medical companies, and their male lobbyists. 

I like to think as they lied to her face and told her that it would be "lowering their standards" if they dared to license her, that her facts caused a bit of discomfort in the subcommittee hearing. Trust me, you don't want to mess with a woman who has delivered babies, her own or others, by telling them how it should be done.

To our Iowa State Senators, license our midwives! Ignore the men in the room on this one, trust me. This is for the sake of women and children. Perhaps some of them can avoid some of the trauma that should not exist while simply giving birth.

Listen to the midwives, they know best on this one. And as for paying them, they are worth more than a guy with a license on his wall...but has never given birth a single time. I'm just sayin'.

*Update

The Midwifery Licensure bill is being held hostage by a Republican Senator at this point, another guy, who has made it clear that unless his bill is passed he will NOT support this bill. This is how politics "works." 

In this case, it's not about what is BEST for women and children, it's about a guy getting his way.

See this article.