Opinion : Reading my mind: 16

I think I must've hit "officially old and sappy."

Tonight while saving some family photos I looked at one from six years ago. Rarely do we have family photos taken. And when we do we have to get them retaken, you know the additions and subtractions part of the family photos.

Tonight I was looking at one, that had 13 women and girls in it. Missing are the ones that hadn't been born yet. Another three little girls. That would bring the total to 16 females in our family. In the photo are me, my four daughters, and my two daughters-in-law and the rest are granddaughters. Just looking at all of the faces in the picture makes me smile. I really am a blessed lady.

At the time we had taken the photo, I felt bad later because we had failed to take a complete family picture and didn't take one with just the guys in the family. At the time the girls just outnumbered the boys by so many, that it hit the photographer as worth capturing.

I do have another picture of just my kids, all six of them together. As adults. And that picture too makes my heart just burst with pride. Getting old messes with your mind just a little. I remember them all as babies, toddlers, preteens, teens and then suddenly they are all adults. I'd say the older ones are in their 20s but then I remember that this isn't so either. They are now about the same age I was when we arrived back in Vinton.

Like most families, we've taken a crazy and wild path. I remember thinking that life was dull and borderline boring. While life was fun with grandkids, it was the same routine. And that's when things went to Crazyville. We've added more members, and we've lost more members. But the constant has been the women.

This mom tries to do what she can for the generations that follow. The moms younger than I, are taking care of the next generation. And in our footsteps are 11 members of yet another generation. All looking to their moms (and yes their dads) for guidance.

Sometimes I try not to think of how quickly time has passed. I have now lived longer than the time that I have left. But as I look at this picture, I know the generations to come are in good hands. The "kids" all have good heads on their shoulders and I trust their judgment more than most other people.

I never fail to pause and be thankful for the parents that raised my "in-law" kiddos either. My family is blessed because of the good parenting of those parents as well, and I'm grateful.

In spite of, what feels like hundreds of times, that I've messed up, somehow, and it's beyond me, the kids have turned into a great group of human beings. They've all been appropriately warped into believing that they should work and hold jobs. I chuckle because I still hear about how "hard" they had it growing up. Yes, Mom made them work. Don't tell them that there were times that I had to come up with "work" for them to do just to keep them busy!

They all love their families, and their kids and I love watching them interact with each other. There is nothing I love more than just having everyone under the same roof, just to listen to them talk. Listening to all of the grandchildren playing together in another room adds to the fun. Nothing beats that.

I'm not sure what the purpose of writing this is really, I'm sure that everyone here has the same set of kids. The family that makes your buttons pop from your heart swelling with pride.

Maybe it's just stepping back from the things that really won't matter in 100 years, and appreciating what will. Whatever you pour into your family now, will affect the generations that follow.

As a genealogy addict, It's pretty clear how certain habits follow. Certain things are appreciated. Another thing that you won't see in the picture, but only in the results, is that behind this picture is a lot of prayers.

The picture was taken in that "everything is perfect and all we have left to do, is just dream" stage of life. It was before we found out about how cruel people can be. It was before illness had hit. It was when certain things were just understood.

I look at family pictures taken since then, and behind the scenes I know they are taken in a time where nothing is understood. They are seen through the lens of who is hurting and why. When I look at pictures now, I see a lot of survivors of life. It sure wasn't the perfect life you dream for your kids. But you realize that you aren't in charge of making that happen.

Yet, you can look at your kids and be amazed. Yes, you even tear up realizing just how much they make you proud.

As a mom of babies, toddlers and teens, I always felt like I was winging it. As a grandma, well, that's easy, you just let the grandkids do the opposite of what you let your kids do. But as I look at what I'm leaving behind, I think I can say I'm leaving some good and solid adults here. Unfortunately for you, they have my very dry sense of humor, and wicked sarcasm. They find the funny where they shouldn't. But inside, they all have good hearts and good heads on them.

Really, that's what life is all about. Raising your kids well, pushing them out of the nest, and then spending the rest of your life wishing they all lived next door.

So if you are in the thick of it with the diapers piling up, the spilled cereal and the constant crying of a teething baby or toddler, or all of the laundry that is never washed, dried and neatly folded in the dressers at the same time, hang tight. Stay on track. Yes, it takes a lot of gritting your teeth, meal preparation, grocery shopping, finding larger clothes and shoes and sleepless nights. In the end, if you do the very best you can, you've done your job.

In what seems like just a few short months, you'll be here where I am. You'll find an old picture and look at it with a smile and tears. You'll wish that you could go back to that time and prepare everyone for what's coming. You'll wish you could have done some things differently. But you can't. So keep doing your best now. Wherever you are at this point in time, do the right thing.

I hate to break it to you, but life really isn't about you anymore. It's about them. It will always be about them. Or it should be. There are people that will disagree with that. But, I'd bet in 100 years, they'll discover that I'm right.

So take those family pictures, and realize they all tell a story. Some folks will know it, some won't. Capture your family story for the next generation to appreciate. Maybe they won't know the struggles and all the successes, those will be hidden behind the photos.