Opinion : Fine I'll admit it, now get off my lawn!

It's official. I'm an "elderly woman." How do I know? Well, I know I'm a woman. And I know I'm old. And Amazon assumes that if you're looking for a dvd player, this puts me in the "elderly woman" category.

I admit it. I like my dvds. Why? Well, for example, I wanted to watch "Die Hard," because hey, I love Bruce Willis and I love a good action movie. None of these wussy chick flicks. So, because I didn't have the dvd to watch I looked the movie up online.

You can find most anything online, except an unedited version of "Die Hard." There was a notice that parts of the movie had been edited, "for the wimps," well it didn't say "wimps" but you know who you are. Hey, if I want to watch "Die Hard," I want to watch every second of "Die Hard," and probably mostly those edited parts. I don't want puppies and rainbows thank you very much. I've been watching some old war movies online as well, all have the content edited. Cool. When we go to war for real, our kids will not have any idea what real war is like. Not that the movie is 100% accurate, but we have got to stop acting like life is unicorns and glitter.

So back to finding a copy of Die Hard in the unedited version.

It's quite funny speaking of movies in my house. I need to replace another movie. It suspiciously went missing sometime after online affair #20 (that is no exaggeration). I used to love a movie called, "Enough" starring Jennifer Lopez. Long story short, she beats the crap out of her abusive husband. I loved it. For some reason, my ex did not. The movie went missing. And now I will order another copy. That one ironically is unedited online, so far.

Movies that did NOT go missing were the Meg Ryan movies like "You've Got Mail" and "Sleepless in Seattle." Both movies about meeting up with someone who is not their partner. Go figure. Maybe this is also why I hate chick flicks and I'm more into the ass-kicking types of movies. I'm joking, I like a good Hallmark movie once in a while, but one really can overdose on these after about just one.

So now I have a dvd player and 2 movies in my cart. Not bad for an elderly woman. I should see what else Amazon suggests for gifts for this elderly women in my life. Let's see, warm socks, a poncho blanket, a magnifying lens, a bird feeder, a book of memory games for seniors. Alright, they win. They might be onto something. I should Christmas shop for myself for next year. I won't remember what I ordered, of course, being elderly and all. I also won't remember where I put my gifts. I could arrange for a scavenger hunt-type Christmas for myself. Oh, who am I kidding? By next Christmas, I won't even remember that I ordered myself a gift, wrapped it and put it away to be found.

Oh now for lightbulbs. That's why I went to Amazon originally. There was no luck finding the kind that I need in town, an odd-sized, weirdo fixture that requires itty bitty bulbs. What in the world?

Bulbs located, in my virtual cart and now ordered. Ah, can't wait to see my unedited Die Hard movie, one can never get enough of Bruce Willis.

At least the elderly women understand.