Health and Fitness : Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month (TDVAM): Respect in Relationships

It is important for both partners to communicate openly and honestly about their feelings in a healthy relationship. This is so neither of them has "authority" over the other. By doing so, mutual respect is fostered, and misunderstandings or conflicts are prevented from escalating. Healthy and loving relationships can happen when respect is a cornerstone and that is when trust and emotional safety thrive. Respect is not just a nice to have in relationships; it's vital to preventing dating abuse. Remember, by promoting equality and valuing each other's perspectives, respectful relationships create a safe, valued, and empowered environment for everyone. You can show respect in your relationship in three important ways.

1. Respect Boundaries You have the right to build and establish healthy boundaries. Depending on the nature of the relationship, that may be easier said than done. Boundaries help define what you are comfortable with and how you want to be treated by others. They allow you to honor your needs, goals, feelings, and values. Boundaries can be emotional, physical, and even digital.

Healthy Boundaries: 

-I am cool with following each other on social media, but not sharing passwords. 

-I am comfortable kissing and holding hands, but not in public right now. 

-I am okay with texting occasionally, but not constantly. 

- I am comfortable with some touching, but I am not ready to have sex.

Unhealthy Boundaries:

- I need to know where you are always. 

- If you love me, you won't spend time with other people.

- I need you to stop talking to other guys or girls because you might cheat, and I get jealous. 

-I can't stand to see you struggling like this, so I need to help you change.

Setting and keeping boundaries will be your first line of protection and prevention from unhealthy and abusive relationships. A boundary is something you establish for the way others will treat you and what you will and won't accept. When we set and follow through with our boundaries, we increase our self-love, self-awareness, and self-respect. A boundary is not a punishment for the other person; it is a method of keeping yourself safe and clearly communicating your needs. Set clear and healthy boundaries and expectations, so that you and those you are in relationships with can #RespectThat.

2. Respect Levels of Consent

Healthy relationships allow partners to communicate openly and to agree on what activities they want to pursue. Whether it is holding hands, kissing, touching, sex, or anything else, it is important for all partners in a relationship to feel comfortable with what is happening every time.

Consent means respecting boundaries and never making assumptions. Consent should be clear, enthusiastic, and freely given. When practicing consent, here are some flags you should know:

Practicing Consent

Green flags indicate that your partner respects consent includes:

-Is this, okay?

-Do you want to slow down?

-Do you want to go further?

-Should I stop?

Red flags that suggest your partner is not respecting consent include:

-Pressuring you to do things you do not want to do.

-Saying that you "owe" them something (i.e., material items, sexual acts, etc.) because you are dating or they "did something" for you.

-Reacting with sadness, anger, or resentment if you do not consent to or do something

Regardless of previous consent or actions, or if you're in a committed or casual relationship, you should always get and be able to give consent. People have the right to stop any activity at any time, even if they have previously agreed to it. Consent is not just about sex; it is also about respecting boundaries and people's feelings. It is a vital part of any healthy relationship.

Consent is a foundational concept in healthy relationships, sexual or not. Rather than thinking about consent as a detached agreement, we can think of it as a conversation embedded within a romantic or sexual experience. Reframing consent not just as a one-time exchange but as a thoughtful, engaged, and continuous conversation can create a sexual environment that allows for more flexibility, understanding, and RESPECT!

3. Engage In Respectful Communication

Growing up, you may have been told to keep your thoughts to yourself or that your feelings did not matter because of your age. These messages can lead to relationships where you fear sharing your thoughts or you feel unheard and unappreciated. You should be able to voice your concerns and needs without fear of harming the relationship. Healthy relationships require respect and communication. Make sure to speak your truth respectfully and listen to your partner's point of view. Together, you can find a solution that works for both of you.

Scenario #1:

You are in a relationship, and your partner often cancels plans at the last minute, making you feel unimportant. Possible Response: "I've noticed we've had to cancel plans a lot lately, and it makes me feel a certain way. Can we talk about it?" This response acknowledges the problem but opens space for honest conversation, which shows that your feelings and needs are respected and valued.

Scenario #2:

You are in a relationship, and you often text or call your partner, but notice they take a long time to respond. Possible Response: "I've noticed that you take a long time to respond to me when I text or call. Can we talk about it?" This response acknowledges the problem but offers room for a productive and honest conversation about each partner's needs and expectations. This shows respect and appreciation for your feelings and time.

Why Is Respect Important in A Relationship?

-Builds Trust: Respect fosters trust and emotional safety in relationships.

-Promotes Equality: It ensures that both partners have equal say and value in the relationship.

-Supports Well-Being: Respect contributes to emotional well-being and self-esteem. 

*love is respect Action Guide