Opinion : The Muddy Morning Blues

Maybe because, as the joke goes, "I'm sleeping like a baby...up every 2 hours." In my case it's usually up all night until the wee hours of the morning and then up in a couple hours when the hubby gets up.

 

 

Our poor dog, she is constantly torn with being the loyal companion and getting her own sleep.

 

 

When I am up all night, she will sometimes lay at my feet as I stare mindlessly at the TV, hoping to find something so boring I fall asleep...I think that's one of the reasons for the Home Shopping Network's success...in a stupor some of those deals actually look good.

 

Anyway, back to the dog. At about midnight or 1:00 a.m. she nudges me and gives me a HUGE yawn as if to say, "It's bedtime already! Can we PLEASE just go to bed?" (Interesting note, someone somewhere said that if you are close to your dog, when you yawn, the dog will yawn. It works.) Sometimes I ignore the dog, and if I'm also on the computer mindlessly reading through Facebook, I'll ignore here. Lately, I have started to take her to our room, where she sleeps in our closet, and tuck her in.

On the nights that she gets to sleep, she is well rested so that when it's time to let the chickens out, she tags along. 

 

 

The procedure for going outside goes something like this. 

 

 

The dog stretches, walks to the computer and flops on the floor. 

After making sure nothing happened that needs attention right away, it's time to head outside.

 

The dog stands.

 

Dean walks to one end of the house where he will check the laundry. 

The dog waits outside the laundry room door. 

 

Then Dean goes to the opposite end of the house to check the refrigerator, to see if the "Something Good to Eat Fairy Godmother" has made her nightly delivery. Usually, she hasn't. Because then...

 

Dean walks back to the other end of the house, into the bathroom, looks in the mirror, checks his hair, takes his allergy medicine...

All the time the dog is waiting outside the door.

 

Then he makes the trip, BACK to the kitchen where obviously the "Something Good to Eat Fairy Godmother" HAS just made a delivery.

The dog sits, on the edge of the living room carpet, because she isn't allowed in the kitchen. She waits patiently while Dean pours a glass of milk.

 

As he drinks the milk, he walks to the computer, dog following.

He sits down, the dog lays down.

 

He finishes the milk, and the dog follows him to the edge of the carpet again, and waits while Dean rinses the glass and puts it next to the sink.

 

Next Dean and the dog, walk to the door to get Dean's shoes.

Then they walk through the living room to the couch where Dean sits to put on said shoes. 

 

At this point we can't just go outside. Dean will sit back on the couch and act like he's NOT going anywhere. The dog tilts her head and then stands up thinking that THIS might trigger her owner to follow suit.

 

Dean will ask, "Oh, did you want to go outside?" 

The tail starts wagging furiously...as Dean remains on the couch. 

 

At this point either Dean will walk to the door with his shadow, or remain on the couch a few seconds more until the dog climbs up and puts both paws on his shoulders and looks him straight in the eye with the, "YES and NOW" look.

 

 

FINALLY they make it outside. 

 

 

The man and the dog roam around for either minutes or for hours until inspiration to write something or boredom takes over and they return to the house.

 

 

At this point the man and his dog either go to the computer to work or the man prepares to leave.

 

 

If the dog doesn't get to go, she hops on the bed, and puts her head on my pillow until I get up.

 

 

If I ignore her, I get, "The Paw." She will keep hitting me until I either pet her, nonstop, or gather her close for a hug.

 

 

This morning I was still groggy, so I ignored "The Paw"...until I felt a muddy paw on my eye. 

 

 

I opened my eyes to see a trail a mud across our bed.

 

 

I am now instantly awake, yelling at the dog.

 

 

She, of course, has no idea why she's in trouble. 

 

 

"We do this EVERY MORNING!" she is thinking, and like her dad, she has NO IDEA why I went from sleeping peacefully to yelling.

 

 

"Get OFF the bed!" I tell her. She replies with, "Me? The loving bundle of snuggles? Nah, she's seeing ghosts, because it CAN'T be ME she's talking to." She lays down and warily watches my next move.

 

 

Mumbling, and wiping off my face, I again demand, "MINDY! GET OFF THE BED! Ah, she DOES mean me" the dog realizes and slowly slides off the bed.

 

 

As I strip the bedding off, and start the washing machine, she is NOT at the door waiting for me, she's hiding in the closet where she is licking her paw, and keeping one eye on me.

 

 

I head into the bathroom to remove the mud mask from my face. I can see a nose poking through the adjoining door to the closet.

 

 

I assure her, SHE'S not in trouble. She resumes her bath, paw two. Noting to myself, the list for today just included a dog bath, which she hates.

 

 

But I soon realize, that in the scheme of things, there ARE worse ways to be awakened. I can't think of one right now, but I'm sure there are.