News : Emma to join baby sister and uncle under one of cemetery\'s oldest trees

Emma Redlinger with mom Aimee, in one of Aimee's favorite photos.

At the north edge of Evergreen Cemetery, a nearly two-century-old, storm-scarred walnut tree stands guards over two small, flat grave markers. That tree was one of many at the cemetery damaged during the July 11, 2011 windstorm. While its trunk remained undamaged, some of its bigger branches were destroyed; a few partially-broken pieces continue to rest on the remaining limbs.

That tree is painfully familiar to Emma Redlinger's family; when they gather to honor that spot as the final resting place for Emma’s ashes, it will be the third time since 1988 they have met underneath that walnut to bury one of their children.

Vinton police continue to investigate the incident in which Emma, the daughter of Steve Redlinger and Aimee Redlinger, suffered a gunshot wound to the head on Feb. 24. She died four days later.

“I miss her so much,” said Aimee, who learned about the incident in the parking lot of the Eastern Iowa Airport after returning on a delayed flight from a work meeting in Atlanta.

“I will never forget that moment. I still have dreams about it,” she says.

'Sarah's tree' and Uncle Joel

Since 2003, Aimee has referred to that walnut as “Sarah's tree.”

Sarah Jean Redlinger was Emma's younger sister. Steve and Aimee found out they were pregnant in early 2003. But soon their joy turned to sorrow with two grim diagnoses. Doctors determined in June of that year that Sarah was a Down's Syndrome baby with the heart defects that commonly occur in Down's babies. Steve was diagnosed with brain cancer. The family spent most of the year at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota. Sarah was born Oct. 1 and died in surgery Oct. 30, 2003.

Eight years later, after the 130 mph winds damaged hundreds of trees throughout Vinton, Aimee visited the cemetery to inspect the damage.

“I was so happy that Sarah's tree stood strong,” she said.

Sarah was the second Redlinger child to be buried under that tree.

In August of 1988, Steve's younger brother, Joel, 14, lost control of his bike while crossing the railroad tracks near the family home on G Avenue. He fell from his bike into the path of an oncoming car.

“I watched him die,” says Steve.

'Huge thank-yous'

Aimee discussed the history of Sarah's tree as she thanked the community for its continued support, most recently with the two-day benefit at Jimberly's in Newhall. A silent auction, raffle, pancake breakfast and T-shirts with one of Emma's favorite literary characters – the smiling cat from “Alice in Wonderland” – filled the business both days. Afterwards, Aimee said all she had to say were “huge thank-yous.” T-shirts are still available for $10; email Aimee at Aredlinger@outlook.com.

“The weekend was difficult, but touching and comforting at the same time,” said Aimee. “It was so nice to see how many care and how many hearts she touched, in life and in death.”

Emma's family has recently learned about some of the many people who received her organs. A 17-year-old girl received her heart; Emma's corneas now enable a man in his 70s to see again. Aimee said she expects to learn more from the Iowa Donor Network in the future about those Emma has helped.

Name in a dream

Aimee recalls how she and Steve had been thinking that they would have a baby boy in 2000. They had not really even discussed names for girls.

“Then one night I dreamed that I had a baby girl and that we named her Emma Grace,” Aimee recalls.

The dream came true.

Although the pregnancy had been normal and Emma was born weighing more than nine pounds, she had trouble breathing on her own after she was born.

“We almost lost her,” recalls Aimee, who said Emma spent several days in the NICU.

Soon, however, little Emma Grace was healthy.

“We called her ‘Grace’ for years,” Aimee recalls. That lasted until the day, after she had started attending school, Emma Grace announced that she wanted to be known as Emma instead. One of her friends recalls the day a newspaper photographer came to take her photo, and Emma was not sure whether to say “Emma” or “Grace” when asked her name.

'Whimsical'

Classmates and cousins who helped at the benefit said what they missed most about Emma was her personality and humor. Emma loved to hide random items in her friends' lockers, and wait to see how long it took them to notice.

“One time, she couldn't get her locker open for a few days, so she used mine,” said another friend.

Emma was “whimsical,” said Aimee, and one of her favorite images was the smiling cat from “Alice in Wonderland.” She had seen the story in several versions, including the Tim Burton/Johnny Depp film which features Depp as The Mad Hatter. “We're all mad here,” read the black T-shirts with the cat's smile.

“Emma talked about getting that smiling cat on a tattoo,” Aimee recalls.

'Accountability and forgiveness'

A DVD containing photos of Emma doing her favorite things and a video of her memorial service played throughout last weekend’s benefit. In that video, Aimee spoke with poise about her daughter's life, and said that the events surrounding her death call for “accountability and forgiveness.”

While the shooting has been ruled accidental, the Vinton Police Department executed a search of the residence where the shooting took place. Chief Ted Paxton said officers are awaiting information from items recovered during the execution of a search warrant, including electronic, to determine if any charges will be filed.

Father faces cancer again

The community first rallied around the Redlinger family in 2003, when Steve first faced his original diagnosis of brain cancer. He went through chemotherapy and was in remission for several years. But the cancer returned, and Steve is now on a chemotherapy regimen. He describes his cancer as “slow-moving, but terminal.” He reports that he has lost some of his vision, and that the cancer affects the part of his brain that comprehends speech, limiting his ability to understand new words.

'Very private' burial

While Emma's family members have said many thanks to the community for its show of support and generosity at the vigil, memorial services and several fund-raisers, Aimee says that when Emma is laid to rest under that tree, it will be a “very private family” service.

Thankfulness and faith

Although they are once again dealing daily with a wide range of grief of losing a child, and Steve faces an uncertain future because of his cancer, Emma's parents, like the tree that towers over their daughters' gravestones, continue to survive, and hold on to hope and thankfulness.

“I am lucky to be here,” says Steve.

At the memorial service, where she so stoically called for “forgiveness and accountability,” Aimee spoke with poise about Emma’s life and her humor.

This week, Aimee said her goal in that eulogy was to tell the story of her daughter’s life and “make Emma proud” by what she said, and how she said it.

“It was important to me that people know we're going to be OK and that Emma will always be with us,” she says. “I feel like God has something for me to do – I just don’t know what it is yet.”